Accolades for Positive Reinforcement

With the school year just around the corner, it is not just a stressful time for students, but also for parents. Parents stress out trying to get the kids up and out the door on time, compete with the overload of homework, and battle for grades that will reflect a student’s capability. One option to consider is the use of positive reinforcement. This technique is especially purposeful with the struggling student as it encourages behavior modification or the repeat of healthy choices.

Here are some suggestions for developing positive reinforcement skills:

• Recognize even the incremental changes. Change has to start somewhere, so when you recognize it, acknowledge it (even if there is room for improvement).

• Retrain your brain to see the positive. Honestly, our brains are naturally hardwired for a negativity bias. Psychologist Rick Hanson describes it like this: “The brain is like Velcro for negative experiences but Teflon for positive ones.” However, we all know that practice makes growth.

• Saying it is believing it. Don’t make it artificial. Most people can spot a fake. AND, don’t follow it with a “but”.

• Sometimes actions speak louder than words. There are other ways to display positive reinforcement than just verbalizing it. This could include a high five, a fist bump, a hug, a round of applause, etc.

• Don’t be afraid to switch it up. Sometimes it is nice to offer more tangible reinforcement. This could look like special outings, involvement in extra-curricular activities or classes, additional privileges, etc. My suggestion is to not make these tangible reinforces so predictable where your student begins to expect them.

Consider writing up a contract, jointly, with your student before the school year begins and identify goals, a plan to achieve goals, and agreed upon consequences (remember, consequences can be positive or negative).